Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
