Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
