You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
