This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
