Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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