i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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