This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
