I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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