I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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