we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
