So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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