I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
