I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
