god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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