You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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