So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
