Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize