I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
