just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
