sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
