You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
