i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
