Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
