So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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