the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
