why didn't you poke me back
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
