You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
