check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize