Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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