"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
