NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
