Pants 0. Shit 1.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
home. puking in laundry basket.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
