There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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