i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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