Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
