You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
