Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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