I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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