Me. At least after what I've been through.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
