Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
