When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ttyl tear gas
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
