today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
