I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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