I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
