ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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