I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
