I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've blown a few things in my day
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
