Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I checked into jail on foursquare
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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