I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
