i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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