Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
