i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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