Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
