I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
