I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
